I’ll never forget my first appointment for acupuncture.  I was a bit nervous, but confident it was going to help me and I trusted my licensed professional.  She pleasantly greeted me at the door.  I removed my shoes and she escorted me to one of her treatment rooms, so that together we could fill out the basic healthcare papers and discussed what we were treating me for (that’s my secret).  Next I had to sign a release.  She explained that the release was simple; that this was acupuncture, and needles would be piercing my skin, and that in some cases there would be the risk of puncturing a ‘major organ,’ as it was worded.  Joyce (my acupuncturist) assured me that she would only be poking me in my arms and legs and I had nothing to worry about.  So I signed.

She took my pulse, which is different for an acupuncturist.  They look for a deeper thread and it can be felt on several different levels…from what I understand.  Then she had me stick out my tongue.  The tongue, I guess, is sort of a map towards your inner health.  Joyce pointed out to me that I was a “chewer.”  For weeks afterwards I checked my tongue constantly.  I have little scallops on each side.  After careful study, I found that I am in fact, not a chewer, but instead my tongue overflows my mouth resting between my teeth.  Great, I thought, now I have a fat tongue on top of everything else.

Next I got up onto the table and lay back with my legs comfortably bent over the nice pillow.  Joyce swabbed my hands and lower legs along with a few spots on my head with disinfected.  Then she removed my hair clip and prepared me for the first needle in the very tip top of my head…..The major organ release suddenly came to mind.  Was this not a major organ that was in risk of penetration?  She tapped it into place and quickly moved on….it wasn’t too bad.  A little prick, but nothing to complain about. 

Next she explained to me about the third eye; the point between your eyebrows.  She placed the needle on my skin and tapped it in with ease.  Then pulling up on the skin at the top of my nose she gently pushed the needle into place.  This was to relax me.  I would say that that point definitely works.

From there Joyce continued to place needles in my hands and fingers before moving to my legs.  She gently took her fingers and mapped out the next point.  I instantly thought of giving a horse a shot.  To inject into a horse’s muscle you draw a triangle with your finger in the V of their neck, knock twice in the middle of the triangle and stink it in….this felt like the same thing.  The mapping was very soothing and honestly I would have been fine with her just drawing on my lower legs for an hour. 

The trick is for the acupuncturist to probe until they find the tender area.  My shins are tough though from riding horses all my life and finding a sensitive spot was not easy and it made me feel a bit like a failure.  Joyce is patient though. 

A very important part of Chinese Medicine that I learned that after noon is the word Chi.  Chi is a very strange sensation which I don’t necessarily always feel with every needle.  That depresses me a little bit, because it is so neat when it does happen.  Have you ever crawled through an electric fence?  I have and sometimes chi feels very much like that; a short surge of energy that shoots through your body.  Other times it’s more of a faint aching feeling that diminishes slowly.  And still other times it feels more like a quiver in the muscle.  When she hits that spot I simply call out “Chi,” and she knows we’re good.

Before leaving me with needles sticking out everywhere, she next placed a small heat lamp over my bare feet.  Ironically, I thought to myself, I always take one foot out of my covers so they don’t get too hot….perhaps I have been doing this wrong all my life and that’s why I don’t sleep at night. 

So the needles are placed, Joyce makes some notes in my file, pulls down the shades to darken the room, and turns on some very relaxing music.  What do I do now I wondered? “You un-do,” she tells me.  Joyce leaves me there for a minimum of thirty minutes, in the dark room with the needles sticking randomly into my skin.  At first I was nervous.  I was afraid to move, cough, sneeze, fart…any movement at all and I thought I would be over wrought with pain.  That first session seemed to take for ever as I lay there in the dark.  Have you ever tried to lie perfectly still for a half an hour and do nothing?  It blows your mind.  I tried desperately to relax, but the mind refused.

Once my time was up, Joyce carefully tapped on the door to wake me…however, I had never relaxed enough to actually fall asleep.  She turned the lights back up and started carefully removing the needles.  I thought this would be another strange sensation, however, the area around each needle actually becomes numb, and I have never felt them being pulled from my body.  I sat up slowly and took a seat back in the chair.  I felt exhausted.  I took my time pulling my socks back on and we ventured back to the waiting area.  Setting up my next appointment, Joyce asked me several times if I was alright to drive. 

I couldn’t believe how tired I was.  I came home, eager to tell my husband about the whole experience, however I was so tired that I instead, sat slumped over on my couch almost asleep.  I wanted to go straight to bed, but it was a Wednesday and I needed to stay up for South Park.

My next appointment went much better.  I was much more relaxed and I did actually drift off to sleep as she left me there.  The first three or four appointments left me just as exhausted, and I felt almost ruined for the rest of my day and was glad that my sessions were in the evenings, as I could not imagine doing anything afterwards.  That feeling has essentially worn off.  Now when I leave, I am still very relaxed, but I am still capable of pressing on with my life.