I am physically unable to leave a shopping cart anywhere but properly returned to the cart corral. 

I think that this makes me a better person.

What is wrong with me?

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Last night as I wheeled my Target purchases through 6 inches is mud and slush, I waited as the guy next to me packed his car with his Grandmother's goods and then drove off, while leaving his cart right there between our two vehicles.  'I've never done that,' I though to myself.  I would never do that.

A more casual and sensible...or is it lazy, person, would argue, that some kid gets paid good money to round up the stray carts and return them to the store.  Still I'm not sure if that makes it okay to do. 

Danielle pointed out to me once, how money hungry we are as a society, because of the Hanaford parking lot.  They once had the Quarter locking system, and if you were a good little shopper, and returned your cart in a nice orderly fashion, then your quarter would be returned to you.  And it worked!  There was never a cart left out of whack or unattended, scattered about the vast parking lot...all were returned and latched neatly to the one in front of them.  Now that they have removed the quarter lock system from their grocery carts, they are left in a more haphazard fashion.  Pushed half way in.  Left in the lot.  Crooked.  Makes me angry.  I think more angry at Dee for pointing this out to me.

So last night I unloaded the dog food and cat litter and all the toys that I got for Ellie that she didn't need, and I stared at that guys cart.  Then without any sense of responsibility I made a decision.  I returned only my cart to the corral.  Then I pushed his abandoned cart  forward just a tiny bit so that I could get into my vehicle and I sat there.  I sat there and wondered what was wrong with me?

First I think I feel sorry for it.  Left out there alone...abandoned.  Instead of resting safely in the corral with it's other red wheeled mates, it sits alone in the weather and elements.  Then I realize...it's not alive, and it doesn't feel a damned thing. 

So why the stress....is it that I really do think that returning a shopping cart makes me somehow better then that guy?  Or is it that I am just that broke.  I'm like a well broke, bomb proof riding horse, that just obeys every tug on the reins or push of the leg.  I never want to buck the system or live with any sense of chaos and anarchy. 

I think it's that one.  I just don't like to do anything wrong...I never want to be perceived by anyone else (someone like myself for example) to be lazy.  I think that the world needs to have a certain order and that we all have to do our part...no matter how small.

Then I wonder what the hell is wrong with me that I have spent so much time thinking about a shopping cart.....I put it in drive, and pull away....but obviously still thinking about it.



ug.....the contemplations.....they weigh me down....