OK..Let me tell you the story of the baby monitor.

This past fall as I lay in bed, I was suddenly awoke by the ringing of a cell phone....not mine.  I was so scared.  I heard it twice....It must be across the hall...OMG someone is here to steal my baby and the moron forgot to turn off their cell phone (these are the things that go through your mind when your home alone at 1am) 

I nervously got up and walked across the hall....the house was empty...just myself, Ellie and the pets.  But of course the nocturnal cat never stops making noises and with all the night lights we had there were strange shadows cast everywhere. 

I returned to bed and stared nervously at the door...waiting to see a figure.  No one ever came.

The next night I timidly attempted to fall to sleep, when I heard it again.  It was coming through the monitor!  I listened....  For the next hour I listened to the baby monitor as I heard many different voices, music, and laughter that I was certain came from a bar room atmosphere.  As I listened carefully I finally made out the voices...they were Asian.  It was a foreign language that much I knew, but which one?  I finally determined that it was in fact an Asian language.  I called my husband at work with my new revelation....I told him there are Asian people living in the baby monitor.....it's like  a Godzilla movie in here, I told him.  He laughed and instructed me to go to sleep.  I hung up the phone, turned down the monitor and closed my eyes....I could still hear it....it was faint and fuzzy....I suddenly remember the movie White Noise....scared that the souls of the damned were trying to reach out to me from the great beyond, I grabbed the Fisher Price monitor and stuffed it under my bed.  I'll be safer with it under there.

The next few months would go on the same....foreign language...sometimes music.  But I over came my fear and learned to ignore it.  More recently the monitor has been quiet....until last night.

Last night I turned it on and instantly heard a voice.  It was excited and I heard the word 'plate'....my husband said, "What the Hell is that?"  "I think it's a baseball game," I answered.

I climbed into bed and listened....I deciphered the words 'God' and 'Relationships'....out of the darkness I next inform him, "I think it's Dr. Phil."  "Shut up,"  he laughs.  Finally I figured it out....I heard more about sinners and god and realized that it was a religious broadcasting of some-sort....700 club my husband suggests.....I told him that if I suddenly sit upright in bed and call out "Praise be to God," not to worry....just the subliminal messages from the baby monitor kicking in.  I then told him, "Peace be with you," kissed him and went to sleep.