The following is a recount of actual events...ok it's more of a recount of an actual conversation that took place in 1991.

As my mother and I sped down the back side of East Carter Rd in the snot green Chevy Celebrity (which I loved as my first car by the way) she said to me, "You really should have a hat on. 90% of your body heat escapes through your head, you know?"

I replied, "Mom, 90% of everything escapes through my head." (referring to my far too frequent cases of diareah of the mouth)