7 Minutes
Tonight I struggled to keep it together as my daughter in a white dog suit (her halloween costume) "helped" me frost a cake and then tried to eat it - wearing most of it.
... I did okay ...
We then went in to get ready for bed.
She tinkled then jumped up on the stool to brush her teeth. ... and this next part really is my fault I guess. She had tried to flush, but I told her to wait. I had noticed a sprinkle on the seat and wanted to clean it all up.
The most frustrating part is that I saw it all happening moments before it all played out [been happening a lot lately]
As I wiped up the seat, I tried to get my tongue to release the words to stop, but it was too late. She reached for her brush and tooth paste on the shelf behind the toilet.
... Splash ...
The brand new tooth paste fell into the toilet - with pee pee still in the bowl (ick)
ok... skipping the tooth brushing segment of the evening.
As I felt my nerves starting to fray I instructed my daughter who is like a tether ball lately attached to me at all times, to move across the bathroom, stand still, not move a muscle and do NOT say a Single WORD!
With that last instruction not to speak, at the same time I reached for the fish net to retrieve the toothpaste from its pee pee grave. Her head tilted down in shame she had a weird little un-grin (meaning she was fighting the need to smile at me) As I reached for the Fish Net in the cabinet, and told her not to speak ... ...she squeaked one out.
The kid Farted!!!!
I burst into laughter.
And of course as my body relaxed and I laughed, she shot towards me the way I used to serve the tether ball at recess... 100 Miles Per Hour she was on me like white on rice!
I ordered her back with green fish net in hands... scooped my ill gotten goods, tossed 'em in the trash and escorted her to her room.
We put on our jams, as she told me it was okay, I was just pissed off - nice right?
We said our prayers, which was a wonderful moment of solace when she said, "thank you God for making my mom my friend." (awe shucks...)
Then we walked out of her room, and I ran my freakin' little toe into the Ottoman.
Arms raised in a 'V' I asked, "Really? REALLY???? We just said our prayers for crying out loud!!!!"
G - Damn....
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