Michelle Ann Cramer, Author

The Treadmill of Life

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 17:05:00 GMT

Today as I ran my heart out (because I'm obviously not running my ass off) on the Weslo cadence, one thought kept creeping into my mind...

    ...is the treadmill indicative of Life?

        ...a simile?

We run as fast and hard as we can day in and day out and most days, we really never get any where at all. On some occasions however, you do begin to believe that we actually did make some ground...a little head way. You look down and think, 'WOW! I've done 5 laps in my 20 minute lunch break! yeah for me!'

Then you realize...you're still just in your basement...

eh - such is life. I guess we just keep on truckin'

On a not so heavy side note, today I traveled pretty hard to the steady beat of Metallica. As I pounded along the go no where tread mill path of life I thought my knee was going to buckle out from underneath me at any moment and send me crashing down. There was no pain. No, today was just numbness. I don't know which is worse...the pain of the knee cap bone rubbing on bone or the feeling that you have no knee cap at all... And what a great little local news story that would have been.

Westmoreland Woman Found in Basement. Apparently after her troublesome left knee gave out she fell to the track of her spinning treadmill and was sent hurling backwards like a clip from America's Funniest Home Videos, only to go crashing into the pool table behind her and left unconscious on the basement floor. She was found hours later by her husband who was reportedly upstairs, sleeping the entire time, but unable to hear her cries or the commotion due to his aggressive snoring! LMAO ... OMG...

Well That Didn't Work

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 16:46:00 GMT

Yesterday my daughter insisted on brining Lalee (her security blanket/burp cloth) with her to the barn. I told her that was fine but she would have to wait for us in the car. ... So Lalee came into the barn with us, and I told her, okay, but she'll have to wait in the barn because you can't ride with Lalee in your hands. ... So then Ellie and Lalee went for a ride on Fox...

When Tammy finally came out with Tiny to ride, we asked her if it was alright that Lalee was riding with Ellen? Tammy told Ellie sweetly, but in no uncertain terms that you can't ride with something in your hands...Mommy will have to hold it until you're done, or you'll have to get off.

Ellie leaned forward (tightly gripping her Lalee) swung her leg around behind her...and slid down off the side of 15.3 hand Fox! I caught her as she reached the ground...

... well, that didn't work...

Sacrifice

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 22:03:00 GMT

If you only knew, I'd sacrifice my beating Heart before I lose you

- Shinedown

Small Victories

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 22:02:00 GMT

Tuesday afternoon, Danielle and I spent the afternoon at the farm doing what we do best. After rotating four different horses out into one pasture, tossing many flakes of hay in several spots, cleaning several stalls, riding, setting up grain...it was time to go. As we climbed the small hill up to the vehicles, I realized that I had no earthly idea where the truck keys were. I have a system. Today however, I must have ventured from the system, and I had absolutely no recollection of ever taking the keys out of the ignition, however I knew that I had!

Danielle and I ventured down to the barn looking down as we retraced my steps...I checked my trunk where I usually set them with my BlackBerry. I then wrote a note on the board that if anyone found Ford Truck keys to return them to me. I knew at that point that they had been in the roo pouch of my hoodie...while trekking back and fourth with horses....throwing hay everywhere....riding. They were gone. I had a few carrot pieces in there while I was cleaning Poncho's stall and they flew out with the simple pitch fork shake...so my keys I knew were gone.

We walked back out to the field. As I retraced my steps along the fence line, Danielle walked up the hill more and on her way back down, stopped, squatted,and stood back up with my truck keys!

YEAH! Danielle is my hero!!

Later that afternoon, as I was putting my shoes on to pick Ellie up at day care, the friendly banter began as Brett began busting my chops about loosing the keys. As I walked out the door, he yelled something snotty about how if I learned the key code to the door that kind of thing wouldn't happen! I stormed back inside and yelled at him that I would still need them to make the truck go Vroom!

We were both laughing as I slammed the door behind me and climbed back into the truck. I pulled the seat back up so that I could reach the peddles, after Brett had taken the truck to get a coffee earlier. Then as I turned the ignition.....click, click, click. lol I tried again ....trying REALLY hard not to laugh...click, click, click.

I looked over and turned off the head lights.

Then as I went back up the steps to grab the car keys, I stuck my head through the door and yelled once again, that maybe if he could remember to turn the head lights off he wouldn't kill the damn truck once a week!

Then I clomped back down the stairs in my winter boots with one small victory under my belt!!

She's Looking at Me

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 03:44:00 GMT

Brett stood up with a little sleeping Ellie tonight to bring her to her bed, when he stopped mid way through the living room. He froze for a moment, and I wondered if she was waking up.

Then he says,, " Um, Michelle. Can you come move her hand? It's propping her eye open and she's looking at me."

OMG, I laughed so hard, I couldn't barely get off the couch to help him!

Tip the Balance

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 15:02:00 GMT

"you have the rest of your life to tip the balance,"

- Kristin Cashore

Graceling

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:41:00 GMT

I finally found a book I couldn't put down!

I loved Graceling!!

Finally I found another Twilight-Esq action, adventure, romance that was interesting enough and gripping to get me to the point where I couldn't set it down!

I lost hope in the first several chapters as I was having trouble getting involved. Mostly because it takes place in a fictional place during mid evil times. The seven kingdoms are made up as well as the odd names of the characters, the kings, the underlords etc. It was hard to follow who was who and from where. For this reason, I think I failed to get the good descriptions of the characters and the author never really touches on that again. Regardless, however once I got a handle on who was who, I ate it right up!

I've read reviews that it feels like a feminist novel. I never got that while I was reading. Instead I felt I was just reading an amazingly gripping story with a great, well written heroin and her almost as equal counterpart, fellow hero. When he needed to be the one to save them, she allowed it. I never felt like she was making some kind of 'I am Woman' stand...I felt like it was more of just an independence stance.

I would agree with another review that the climactic parts were very...well, anti climactic. She describes weeks battling the mountains in the winter. A very well described hand to hand combat with a mountain lion. Even the detailed spin, jabs and stabs of the battles against random soldiers, but when the villain finally comes into play....he's barley mentioned. Then when she finally comes face to face with him, it feels very underplayed and quick. That part could have had a little more meat to it

Regardless, the love story was excellent. As well as the adventure and the obvious and unbreakable ties to the people that she loved. The book wrapped up nicely and then left the characters in a way that was 'happily ever after,' but not necessarily in the way that you wanted it.

There were surprises. There were nail bitting moments! It was good.

What saddened me the most is the fact that it ended. With about a hundred pages left I googled the book to see if there was a major motion picture in the works. There's not. And the book trailer on youtube, was awful and I wished I would have never watched it, as it left the characters now differently in my mind. Then I learned that there is not yet a follow up novel starring my beloved Katsa and Po. Instead there is a prequel that takes place roughly 35 years prior to this story. Cashore is however writing a sequel at this point tentatively titled Bitterblue. But that's not due for release I understand until 2011. This all makes me very sad. The prequel Fire is supposed to be even better, and I shall dive into that next, but I can't at the moment get over Katsa and Po. I feel lost with out them. I think I will return to Graceling and re-read the first few chapters and make better sense of how it all started. That way at least I can have my new friends back in my life.

It's driving me mad...

I wish I could shake them...

This is why I don't read....

T-shaped

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:32:00 GMT

This idea is un-patented, but don't steal it...

Someday I'm going to invent the T-shaped Maxi!

Something that you can use for those relaxing moments in the recliner, or even to bed at night, without the nasty and dreaded "whoopsie" trickle....

someday...

Don't steal my idea....

Quarter Cakes

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:28:00 GMT

So yesterday I returned, after a 2.5 year hiatus, to acupuncture.

It's like I never left. It was so relaxing and I fell right back into the routine. We caught up quickly, chatted about my needs, and then she told me to "get comfortable." I climbed up on the table and rested my legs over the knee pillow, as she began tapping the needles into my skin.

Sadly, after the heat lamp was turned on my little feet, and the relaxing music turned on, I was still edgy. No matter what I thought about, my body was just tense. My mind was cluttered. I felt like something inside of me was just gonna snap at any moment.

Then finally in the last five or so minutes, the body began to give...I felt every thing become heavy and completely relaxed.

aaahhhhh....

Then it was time to go. (sniff sniff)

On the way out Joyce set me up with two types of herbs. Now last time she sent me home with herbs, they didn't quite....well, agree with me. So I was weary. But these she said, I would not be ingesting. Instead I am to mix five grams of one with ten grams of the other with a few drops of vinegar. Make it into a paste and then apply it in a quarter sized cake on the bottom of my foot. Just below the ball of my feet, she said, is a HUGE pressure that relieves many things within the bottom. It's exceptionally good for helping with the onset of hypertension, as well as insomnia....which I have always suffered from.

So last night, after Ellie was in bed, I mixed my herbs, and slapped them on the base of my foot. I covered it with a bandage and then socks, as Joyce instructed, and climbed into bed.

I have no idea if it worked last night, but I slept like a brick. But that's most likely the Acupuncture. We'll see about my blood pressure next week.

Thank You

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:57:00 GMT

What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music,
For giving it to me.

- ABBA

Who You Talking To

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:45:00 GMT

I love when Ellie says, "Mom, Who you talkin' too?"

Well apparently not you darlin'...

One At A Time

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:41:00 GMT

I'm torn.

I just don't know what to do.

Last week I stopped at Barnes & Nobles to buy a book I had been wanting to read. I finally started it this week and am enjoying it. Then today...TODAY! What could possibly be the final revision of my next book arrived!! Later this afternoon, another box arrived. Reeling from my recent High Blood Pressure diagnosis, I had ordered a book on Hypertension, The Dash Diet, and Relaxation. They arrived via the brown man.

I know have five books that I'm dying to read (as well as the one on potty training I've been avoiding for months) That I need to read! And I am allotted only about ten minutes of reading time per day....so I am torn. I have some kind of readers multiple personality disorder going on.

I am interested in everything and have decided to dive into them all at one time. I just don't know at this point if Katsa has high blood pressure, or if she lives on Clarey ave...and I am desperately trying to find a way for her to relax...and use the potty.

Word to the wise....read one book at a time.

Head Sets

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:36:00 GMT

One day someone is going to have to explain to me how the head sets at fast food restaurants work.

I mean how is this person, walking someone's food out to them in their car where they are waiting for their Baconator and taking an order...and getting it right? No buttons are pushed. Nothing is entered anywhere. And are you telling me that every one orders things the same way, speaks clearly, and never asks questions??? So it can't be a voice activating thing.... It's ridiculous.

I fear I'm going to have to infiltrate.

I'll have to get hired for the drive through window at Arby's....I'll get free roast beast and finally find out how they're doing it!

The Only Thing I'd Really Like To Be

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 20:14:00 GMT

"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That's all I do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be."

~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye,
Chapter 22, spoken by the character Holden Caulfield

Ahead Of Her Time

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 15:59:00 GMT

And she'll promise you more,
Than the Garden of Eden.
Then she'll carelessly cut you,
And laugh while you're bleedin'.
But she'll bring out the best,
And the worst you can be.

--

Oh--she takes care of hersel.f
She can wait if she wants,
She's ahead of her time.
Oh--and she never gives out,
And she never gives in,
She just changes her mind.

- Billy Joel

Much of this song reminds me of Ellen ... she's not a woman, but she fits a lot of the lyrics...she's ahead of her time, that's for certain.

Night Shift Child Rearing

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 15:55:00 GMT

I love the parenting advice that my husband often brings home from the classy, night shift crew. They talk about a whole array of things, and there's never any shortage of good stories...shortage of common sense, ya, but stories...Nope...they have tons of them.

He has a few friends that have toddlers and they frequently find themselves in deep discussion on child rearing.

The first one has a son Ellie's exact age. They were actually born and in the hospital at the same time. Of course they compare constantly. Ellie, being a girl, walked and talked before his son, and in general seems more advanced. However, he very proudly announced when they were not even a year old that his son ate an entire McDonald's happy meal all by himself! The kid from what I have gathered, eats like a small horse. And we brag.

Next up is the guy that advised Brett to slap her, open palmed, on the bottom of the foot when she acts out. "Hurts like hell, and never leaves a mark!" he proudly told Brett. Shortly after hearing that story relayed I tried it out on him.

Lastly (and this is my favorite) they lately have been discussing why Ellie is still in a crib. Now parents that I talk to...scratch that, MOTHERS that I talk to, all say the same thing. Leave them in a crib as long as you can. Keep them contained! If there is no issue with the crib, why oh why would you remove them? But the first guy's son has been in a toddler bed for a while now. She shouldn't be still in a crib, they tell Brett. Brett then explains to the brain trust, that I am concerned about her crawling out the doggie door in the middle of the night, or even worse, unlocking, unbolting and opening the sliding door and setting off the security system....sending the cops to our house at 2 am. SO! and this is where it gets good! The third guy tells Brett to do what he did. He told him, "You cut the door in half...that's what I did to my kid's door."

...Oh...My...God....

Now I just want to visit this guy's house to see the homemade Dutch door system of containment.

GOTTA LOVE THE NIGHT SHIFT!!

Trust Yourself

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 14:31:00 GMT

Last night as I held my daughter, dancing, she leaned backwards to hang. I sat finally and explained that it hurts my back to do that and that she could hang upside down from my lap.

She then took my hands and launched herself backwards into a back flip that we always do.

She immedeatly climbed back up to do it again, but first stopped...looked me in the eye and then quoted the Baron from her favorite movie, The Cat Returns.

"Trust yourself mommy," she told me.

Then she flipped of me backwards again.

okay

First Ride

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:52:00 GMT

Ellie has come to the farm quite often...she's sat on horses, walked with mommy, mucked out stalls...chased cats!

But yesterday was a whole new thing!

Yesterday we went to the farm with Ellie's first official ride on the agenda. I went ahead of Brett and Ellie and cleaned out the stall, brought in my Fox, and saddled him up. Brett let her finish watching Dora and tried to get her into her riding pants, but to no avail. She did however show up at Fairway with her helmet securely fastened and a giant smile on her face!

She couldn't wait to ride!

We bridled the big red fox, and walked up the icy hill to the indoor riding arena. I held Fox, and the camera, as daddy lifted her aboard. She just smiled! Quickly she leaned over to get her Princess boots into her stirrups and grabbed the reins yelling giddy up! Fox, of course...did.

Actually, Fox had an extra spring in his step! He seemed so very happy to be ridden, even if it was on a lead line and only walking. Brett was concerned at how much we had to keep pulling on him to get him to slow down. It did seem a little out of character, but you could tell it was happiness in the 28 year old gelding.

Ellie chatted up a storm as we rounded the arena, calling out Foxer-ooni over and over, then telling me she wanted to jump like the big girls. We set out a ground pole and walked over it. To her satisfaction, that was jumping. Brett and I both telling her each time, eyes up and to look between his ears. She did...with a huge grin. As we stepped over the pole, a red and white double vertical sat in front of us, "let's do the red one mommy," she said. I explained that she wasn't quite ready for that jump, and that Fox would probably not make it over it at that speed.

As Brett walked her (and I snapped three hundred pictures) he said to her, "let's move away from the wall a little." She added, "so I don't hit it like mommy did." Then she mentioned several times falling off and getting stepped on...whoops

Finally, the best part was when she said his name yet again, and called him a donkey. I corrected her that he was a Quarter Horse and his name was Features Fox. She repeated that several times and then said, "I'm Features Ellen!" What a great combination of my two favorite things!

Altogether Ellen had a lot of fun and would have ridden all night if we had let her. She had natural rhythm with his movement and asked to come back soon. Brett and I decided that we will make it a once a week event, like a mini riding lesson. Now that I know she will stay on for more the three steps, I'll have to clean up her tiny saddle, and definitely shorten the stirrups so she can better reach them, and alas...bring ole Foxer's bridles and equipment out of storage...for the Fox has returned!!

I love it!!

When Do We Stop Comparing?

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 16:04:00 GMT

I was thinking the other day...

when do we stop comparing our kids?

When do we just accept them as the individuals they are?

.... embracing their unique skills and graces, as well as recognizing their individual short comings...

Then I realized...the revelation that they are all just kids and they all develop at their own rateonly hits you...when your kid is loosing in the conversation!

Trapped

Michelle Cramer-Batson — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 15:13:00 GMT

I'm just another writer,
Still trapped within my truth.
A hesitant prize fighter,
Still trapped within my youth.

- Dan Hill